Relationship Counselling

As people, we all have biologically driven emotional needs such as for safety, protection and closeness that can only be met in relationships with significant others.

We also have a need for autonomy or to be in control of our own lives and how we live it.

When these needs are not being met we become distressed and either fight to get our needs met or withdraw or shutdown to avoid the ongoing frustration of our needs not being met.

Both these actions will usually make it harder for our relational needs to be met as our partner reacts to our pressure with anger or distance further from us in their own self-protective ways.

A negative cycle of relating to each other happens especially when there is a conflict of needs. We trigger and react to each other in self-defeating ways making the conflict worse.

With relationship counselling we provide a safe environment for both partners in the relationship so they can explore and understand what is happening for each of them.

We help them own the unmet needs they are fighting for and find better ways to get these needs met.

In this process, we attempt to help a couple rebuild or strengthen the emotional bond between them.

Our goal is to help a couple move from:

Alienationtoemotional engagement
Self-protectiontorisk-taking
Defensivenesstoopenness
Focusing on flawstosharing fears and longings
Helplessnesstoa sense of efficacy
Isolationtoconnectedness
Blamingtounderstanding

We acknowledge that the emotional bond between a couple may be so damaged that one or both partners may have lost the desire to rebuild it. If this is the case we help the couple explore and understand what has happened to their relationship so that they can work out what they want and how to move forward with their lives, whether it be together or apart as amicably as possible.


Counselling Room